


My Name Is Simone

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Category: Etrian Odyssey Series, 新・世界樹の迷宮 ミレニアムの少女 | Etrian Odyssey Untold: The Millennium Girl
Genre: AU, F/M, Trans!Simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 22:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3267404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon has never truly felt comfortable in 'his' own skin. He always felt that he would be better off as a female, but he could never tell anyone that. No one would ever take him seriously if he said he was a girl, or if he went around wearing skirts and dresses.</p>
<p>He lets out his frustration at night, with a knife, pain and tears. But when Arthur catches him one night, he finds that, maybe, someone truly does understand and care.</p>
<p>Trigger Warning: There is cutting/self-harming in the first chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Name Is Simone

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I know that in the summary I referred to Simone as a he but through the majority of this story she will be called a SHE unless some asshole is being desrespectful. (In which case Arthur will probably set them on fire)

Simon bit his lip, trying to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape as he made another cut near the inside of his elbow, dangerously close to another scar. Tears fell from his eyes, sometimes dripping into fresh cuts and making them sting. But he didn't care. He deserved the pain. How could he honestly deserve anything  _but_ pain with this mindset?

He was running out of room on his arms, so he brought the blankets away from his bare legs, revealing more scars, some of which had barely healed. He found a spot without any scars, and brought the knife down, and just before it made contact-

"Hey, Simon, I need-" Arthur barged in, stunned into silence when he saw what he was doing.

Simon was frozen, making no move to grab a blanket and cover the scars. Not that it would matter, since Arthur had already seen them.

Suddenly, Arthur's eyes flashed with anger.

"What are you DOING?!" he yelled, though trying to keep his voice down. He came closer, grabbing the medic's arms to examine the fresh cuts.

"Damn it... Where's the first-aid kit?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the scarred arms.

"Bathroom" was all that came out of Simon's mouth.

With an angry sigh, Arthur let go of Simon's arms, snatched the knife away, and stormed into the bathroom. Simon heard him muttering to himself as he made a racket trying to find what he was looking for. When he came out, he knelt down and got to work cleaning and bandaging the cuts. Neither of them said anything until he had finished.

When he finished, Arthur looked up into Simon's eyes for the first time since he had arrived, stunning the medic when he saw the tears that were in his eyes.

"Why? Why would you do this?" Arthur asked softly, his voice broken and laced with hurt. Simon didn't understand why Arthur cared so much, but it did send a pang through his chest as he thought of how he'd made him  _cry_. Arthur  _never_ cried, yet here he was, fighting back tears because he had been self-harming.

"I deserve it" he replied. It was all he could think to say. Arthur shook his head.

"No. You don't. Why would you think that you deserve it?"

Simon didn't respond. He  _couldn't_ respond. Not with the truth.

When he stayed silent, Arthur took his hand, squeezing it comfortingly.

"Please, Simon. Tell me why you do this"

Simon briefly considered his options, but he knew Arthur wouldn't let up. He sighed softly, defeated.

"I... I don't..."

He struggled to explain it, trying to find the words. Arthur watched him, waiting patiently, something else he never did.

"I don't feel comfortable... Being a man"

Arthur tilted his head, trying to figure out what that meant.

"What are you talking about?" he asked softly, slowly, trying not to set him off. Simon sighed.

"I feel like... I would be happier, if I were a woman"

Arthur watched him, not saying anything, just waiting for Simon to continue. He complied.

"I've never actually  _felt_  like I should be a man. I always thought I would be so much happier if I could be female"

Arthur gave him a small smile, and he lifted himself to sit next to Simon on his bed, still holding his hand.

"So you're a woman, then"

"No, I'm not. I am a man who is so messed up that he  _wants_ to be a woman"

Arthur frowned at that.

"There's nothing messed up about that. If you think you're female, then you  _are_  female" _  
_

Simon shook his head. He couldn't be a woman. There was something wrong with him, to think like he did.

"Arthur, gender is not simply-"

"Look at me"

Arthur's voice was so stern and serious, that Simon decided to listen. He looked up, into Arthur's eyes, ready to listen to what he had to say.

"I can't see your mind, so I only know what you tell me. But here's what I think: If you think you'd be happier as a woman, then you're probably a woman, at least mentally. If you aren't comfortable being a man, then you aren't. Not mentally. And if you're so upset about it that you're going to go to such lengths to hurt yourself for your thoughts... Then I only wish I had known sooner"

Simon stared in shock at Arthur. He never thought that anyone would care  _this much_ if they found out about his thinking, his cutting. It felt... Nice. The caring, as well as the fact that Arthur was calling him a woman.

Arthur looked at him, grabbing Simon's other hand and squeezing them.

"Repeat after me: You. Are.  _Female_ "

Simon hesitated. Was it really okay to say that, with the body he had?

"I... Am..."

"Come on now. You are female"

Simon swallowed nervously. It did sound nice... Maybe...

"I am... Female" she said softly. Arthur grinned.

"Again"

"I am female" she said, more confidently this time. She smiled a little as the words left her lips.

"Once more" Arthur pressed.

"I am female"

They were both smiling now. Arthur, happy because she was happy. Her, because she had finally found acceptance for who she was.

Arthur glanced down at their hands, seeming to realize that he still held hers. She smiled, squeezing his hands back to show that she didn't mind. He looked back to her face, his smile a little softer now.

"Can I call you by another name? I don't think 'Simon' fits anymore"

She nodded.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked.

"How about... Simone?"

She giggled.

"Very well. My name will be Simone"

Arthur smiled just a bit wider, and he leaned up to kiss Simone on the cheek. She blushed, but her smile widened.

"Arthur, why did you even come here in the first place?" she asked softly, remembering when he'd first walked in and he had been about to say that he needed something. Arthur chuckled.

"Oh, yeah. Raquna locked me out of my room and wouldn't give the key back until I told you that I love you"

Simone's eyes widened. Arthur watched her carefully, waiting for her reaction.

"You... You love me?"

Arthur smiled, bringing one of her hands to his lips, gently kissing the back of it.

"Of course I do. You are an amazing, beautiful, intelligent, funny woman and I love you so, so much"

Simone's breath hitched. She had always been called things like that, and it felt good, but it had always felt hollow, because they were directed at  _a man_. She had never taken the compliments to heart, but now, Arthur was saying all that to her, and it felt so  _wonderful_.

"Hey, don't cry..." Arthur said softly, bringing his hand up to gently wipe away the tears. Simone hadn't even realized that they were falling until Arthur said it.

She gathered her courage, and took Arthur's hand, lacing their fingers together. Arthur looked confused, but said nothing, his smile widening just a bit.

"I... I love you too" she whispered. Arthur's confusion cleared, and he just looked so purely happy. He pulled her into an embrace, and she returned it, holding him close, like he was the only thing tethering her to this earth.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Arthur asked softly, pulling away just enough to look into her eyes.

Simone bit her lip, then nodded. She wanted to spend a little more time with Arthur.

Arthur smiled. He gazed at Simone's face, with such love and affection that it made her heart jump. He reached up, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"I love you, Simone. You are so amazingly beautiful, and I want you to promise that you will never hurt yourself like that again"

Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt like she was going to cry again.

"I promise... And I love you too"

Arthur's smile became gentler, and he kissed her cheek again.

"Good"


End file.
